At the end of the day...
When all was said and done, all the prizes and competitions were won (sorry, I don't mean to be rhyming here), what were we left with? Me, I was sleep deprived, missing my favorite houseguests but glad to be rid of some others. Everyone's a critic, and that certainly includes me. I came here for a game, some entertainment, and a glimpse into the not-exactly-real life of 14 people who agreed to be the subjects of our voyeurism for the summer.
At the end of the day (©Chilltown) here's how they each measured up. From first out to first place, we grade on drama, entertainment, gameplay and likeability.
Alison | Nakomis | Jase | Diane | Kaysar | Marcellas | Howie | James | Danielle | George | Will | Janelle | Erika | Mike Boogie
Who? Jennifer Aniston? The first out is always the one about whom we have to say 'we hardly knew ye.' We knew her a little better since it was AllStars, but that also meant the other houseguests knew her too, so her eviction was less random that the first generally is. She was Erika's first target and first out, a point Erika could have made at the end to show how she'd been in the game since day 1, but whatever. And Alison was not the Alison from BB4, which could be good. She was ready to go as soon as the veto was decided, she was packing days before the eviction. She was blamed for the plan to try to get Jase and Janelle to "disagree" and end up on the block; a plot to get Janelle out. A little drama there, and some gameplay. But I actually thought it was Danielle who was really behind it and Alison actually made a bad move by running around and blabbing to everyone. Hiding in the pot was pretty funny, but it also wasn't her idea.
She never quite fit in with the rest of them. She's smart and quiet, and not exactly what you'd expect from the tattoos and piercings and wacky hair color. The closest I remember her coming to creating much drama was when she sort of objected to Howie being Howie. She wanted him to tone down his schtick a bit, and mostly not be right in her face. On a personal level, I can feel for her. It must be difficult living 27x7 with all that. But, it is Big Brother, and AllStars at that, so you've got to expect some big characters. And if everyone just sat around being polite and considerate, we'd have Big Boredom (©Dr. Will), and where's the drama in that? Nakomis did little to entertain us; dying her hair to match the flames of the house was probably about her most entertaining. And even that got trumped later on when the boys gave Howie skunk stripes. She mostly just hung out quietly in the red room. She scores high on likeability, and probably would have on gameplay if she'd had a chance to play more. So, the score comes out in the wash.
He was fun to watch; gotta love the mirror face. He was off to a good start as a king of the floaters, having an in with Season 6, a bond (or so he seemed to think) with Chilltown, a sort of Season 5 deal, and, of course, Mr & Mrs Smith. Too bad that never took off, it maybe had potential. The re-enactments of the veto ceremony that put him on the block were a riot, and one of the highlights of the feeds.
Her "feud" with Janelle was probably her downfall, and the fact that she hardly seemed like she wanted to play. I loved her the first time around, but this time she mostly seemed to just lay low. Boogie tried to showmance her (maybe) and I think we're all just as glad that didn't happen. The last thing she needed was to go there again. For her too we potentially missed out on some fun and drama with the collapse of Mr. & Mrs. Smith.
Ah, poor Kaysar. He is too good for this game. He was loyal, perhaps to a fault. He was fun with Janelle, and went to extremes to try to hold up James' nomination of Chicken George. He even had a deal with Dr. Will, for all the good it did him. He played the game well and honestly, and his likeability alone gives him top marks.
For someone who is so invovled in the world of Big Brother, he sure didn't embrace the game with much (any) enthusiasm. He had something personal against Mike Boogie, why else knock him out of that HOH? And that move cost him a week on slop (or not, he never actually ate any). He was such a punk to Janelle, kissing up to her one moment and then talking trash about her as soon as she left the room. It's actually fitting that she got him out, she just didn't know it. Though I wouldn't call him entertaining most of the time, every once in a while he'd come up with a line that would make me laugh. Like when he said about the "salsa soup" that if he'd ordered it in a restaurant he'd be horrified, but in the BB house it was like the best thing ever. Or, my favorite Marci line of the summer, about one of the wake up calls..."two grown people actually took time out of their lives for this?!" And unless you want to give him points for integrity (he did promise Danielle and Erika that if either of them made it to the end he'd vote for her), his vote at the end made no sense.
I love Howie. Sure he's rude, crude, and socially unacceptable, but he's also a teddy bear. He was a great friend to Janie, and we all cried a little with her when he left. He did get scumbagged (©danielle) by Chicken George...sort of. Really he got escorted to the door by CT, just like the rest of them. Though it was hard to find his strategy (oh, right, confusion was his strategy), and he never won a competition, Jedi drilling (©Howie) is a huge part of gameplay for a lot of people. I'd argue that it's something that has changed the game. After a few nights of listening to Howie and Janelle, I could have won an HOH. He gave us a lot of entertainment, on his own and through his ongoing harrassment of Dr. Will. And you have to give him drama points for the fight with Boogie on the way out the door. He has numerous ©Howie lines (Thanks, BB! Oh Janie! Mommy, mommy I want a Janiedoll!) and he also came up with one of favorite lines of the summer: "Next week when I win HOH Will's gonna convince me to evict myself...and to thank him for it."
He was pretty entertaining with his nervousing (aka Jamesing). He was firmly entrenched in two of the strongest alliances in the game at the same time (S6 and LOD). And for someone who was so quick to betray his S6 alliance, he was remarkably unsuspecting of being betrayed by Will and Boogie. Though I think he knew he was going when he did, he was still begging for his life right up until the last minute. He wanted to be seen as evil; wanted to be the next Will...but he's no Will, he's his own person. And personally, I like him just as he is. He's smart, I think he's a better person than he wants anyone to know and every once in a while that would show through his facade. He didn't quite live up to his veto king rep from last season, but he was still definitely a competitor. He was a terrible actor, as illustrated by his incredibly obvious throwing of that one veto comp. And I could have done without some of his nastiness and most of his whining, though I did have to respect him for how quickly he backed off the doll-fight with Janelle when shown the tape. And whether he meant it to be or not his whole "I've been harmed!" thing was pretty funny.
It seems to be the general consensus that she was "robbed" of a win on Season 3, and that she needed AllStars for redemption. The truth is no one deserves to win a reality show (©me), but it definitely wouldn't have been AllStars without her. She was always intense, the game was almost always front and center. We often had to listen to as Danielle explained it all. She could get awfully preachy, though rarely condescending (the pixie sticks being a notable exception...yes Danielle we can all count). She figured out Will faster than most of them, though she still trusted him longer than she should have, and it led her out the door, just like the rest of them. Whether she meant it to be or not, the night of 'ding-dong, ding-dong, Dani's at the HOH door' was pretty funny. And her hiding behind the couch to smoke would have been as well if it weren't for the fact that I really think she was trying to hide out of respect for her mother, and that's the kind of thing that's not fun to exploit.
Whether it was strategy or just dumb luck, he made it awfully far in the game for someone who no one was taking seriously. His entertainment rating couldn't be higher. He definitely knew his role (©will kirby) and played it to a tee. His competition rating, of course, couldn't have been lower, but even that he turned around to be entertaining. I mean if you're not going to win the Morphomatic, the next best thing is to turn in a time of almost half an hour, when Jedi Janie wins with 1 minute. And he won the one comp he had to, and he took his slop with little complaint. It's not so bad, doc (©chicken george) actually translated to "it's disgusting, but I'm too good a sport to complain" and I don't think most of the rest of them even got that. He had many great lines, but I think my favorite was when he jumped up and exclaimed "oh no, I have to get James out of the oven" and toddled of to pull out the cookie, with a confused Erika trailing along behind him. He always said he was just happy to be there and to have the experience, and I think he was completely for real.
What can I say? He rules them all, he's Dr. Delicious, the puppetmaster, and so much more. He should have won again, but he didn't really want to. He said all along he was there for Boogie, so all I can say is that he accomplished what he set out to do. He gave us more drama than we knew what to do with in the Janelle showmance. He entertained more than anyone with everything from the infamous shower to an amazingly thought out staging of a rock video. And that's not even to mention when he romanced the BY camera. He promised us a show and he delivered. I could have done without his trashing of us, but w/o it he wouldn't be Will. And while he certainly lied and said not-exactly-kind things behind almost everyone's back, he was actually quite respectful towards the other players. Though he never won a single competition, his gameplay was actually strong to quite strong (©CT). I almost fell off my chair when he came so close to winning that rope veto comp. And I believe he was really trying. But it's pretty impressive that he can control the whole game without the competitions, and I sort of like that he walked out with a "perfect" record of 0 of 31 or whatever. I never quite got sweetheart-gate/Julie won't talk to Will. But he gets more drama points for that. The whispering with Janelle was annoying, but cute at the same time. And love him or hate him or love to hate him, you know you wanted him in the game. So he's definitely the whole package of drama, entertainment, gameplay and likeability.
Our Janie doll, America's Choice, prom queen, the EnergizerCompetitor (©me), and Veto Queen. She sparkled and shined and was a joy to watch. She was always ready to entertain, whether it was bantering with Howie, chatting with Chicken George, bonding with Kaysar, or flirting with Will. And she's so beautiful that many were content to watch her just sleep, or curl her hair. She gave us drama with her relationships, and the excitment of waiting to see how she'd manage to pull herself out of the fire each week with veto. It's true that Will controlled her a bit, but he is, after all, the puppetmaster. Despite that her gameplay was amazing. She's smarter and had more strategy than most gave her credit for, and say what you will about having competitions thrown to her, but they sure couldn't have done it without her. Even the players that were trying to beat her couldn't. At least until the end. And a look at the final HOH shows you something else about Janelle. Even when she arguably has a right to be upset, she'll complain a little, but never whine, and move on quickly. The two-hand rule on the volcano wasn't clear, and the part 2 comp. definitely favored a guy. But she didn't pull a James and run to the DR and fuss. She just said it sucked, and then got over it. Class act, all the way. And likeable? Couldn't be more so. I still would have loved to see Janelle and Will as the final 2. Will would have won, but it would have been fun to watch. And as the whole package, Janie trumps him. She wins here as our favorite player. Will's a close second, which is why together they were such a SuperCouple.
>sigh< Everytime I'd see Erika with the pink teddy bear, or in her flower room, or hear her talking about her mom and her brother I'd think that she seems like she should be one of the nicest, most normal, most likeable people in the house. But good GOD that woman could be annoying. When she wasn't single white female'ing Janelle, she was calling her a jealous, stupid child. Erika had a tendancy to rewrite history (especially at the very end when she was trying to convince herself and us that she had a chance at winning). After watching the re-feeds I'm pretty convinced Will never called Janelle a slut. What he said was "every band needs its groupies." To be fair he did say Janelle was ruining his life, and all the other things Erika told her. But the slut thing was what really pushed Janie over the edge. Whether Erika misremembered it, or (as I suspect) Boogie said it and Erika was confused, or she was outright lying, I don't know. And, of course, it's possible that Will did say it and I missed it or the feeds missed it. But there were other histories she rewrote. And the Boogie-mance was just gross. It was bad enough when she was saying things like "you'd better not be playing me" but when she found out he was and still was saying "why does this make me more attracted to him?"...oh please. And the smacking, slurpy kisses? No one wants to hear that. And, dude! Why didn't she change her clothes for the last week?!? Anyway. As a human being I feel sorry for her and hope things worked out in her life. But in the game she was pretty low on my scale all the way around.
Well, he won.... Especially as I watched the re-feeds, it was clear that while Will did carry him, Boogie played a pretty good game all on his own. He was playing early and carefully. He made sure that most of the jurors went out with a favorable view of him. He probably couldn't have done it without Will, but it wasn't like he was just coasting along behind, either. Boogie could be pretty damn entertaining. One of the very few highlights of the feeds after Janelle left was B. doing impressions of all the houseguests. His gameplay was pretty good, if not quite up to Will's. (He really does live in Will's shadow, no doubt.) Drama was so-so. He had a few big ones--the week 3 fight with Janelle, the Howie fight. He could be likeable, but he could also be just gross. His constant self-promotion got old real fast. And his treatment of Erika was just completely disrespectful. At least he did say he was going to hell for it. And the shock and hurt he showed us when Will left was very humanizing. So, as an individual he scores pretty decently. And as part of Chilltown, even higher. And you have to take CT in to account. The phone calls, the storage room dances, the blatant pre-game alliance...it was all part of what made AllStars fun.
Buh-bye!
